Sunday, January 11, 2009


In the past few weeks I've contemplated change. Serious change. I would like to change the balance of my bank account, but that one takes time. I would really like to buy a house, but the bank account isn't ready yet. I would like to pay off all of my bills - that bank account again. And I need a car, any donors?

Realizing that maybe I needed to feel a little more in control of my life, I decided to focus on things that I can change. Like my hair color. Maybe I should dye my hair. I haven't done it yet, mostly because I'm afraid that I will hate it and then my hair will fall out. I need a new wardrobe, but as a woman that doesn't really enjoy shopping, a new wardrobe is not an easy thing to accomplish. I change my hairstyle every few days, and enjoy the daily changes of motherhood. I've gone out a little more, and experimented with make-up. I've decided to become a hustler, and get a few quick and relatively easy certifications, to make some money. Anyone need something notarized?

But the discontentment is still there. I realized it was serious when I started seriously discussing converting to a different religion. If I had out of the bottle red hair under my hijab, would you still be my friends?