Bare Bottoms

A few observations from daily life...

It is winter here. As such, people are wrapped up - gloves, winter coats, boats, and other cold weather attire. Babies in snowsuits that weigh as much as they do. With there bare bottoms, not always, but often enough, visible through the slit bottom pants (all three pants, and the snowsuit). I honestly do not comprehend how if it is cold enough to bundle up your child so that s/he looks like the Abominable Snowman, it is not cold enough to put on a diaper (cloth or disposable) or maybe snap pants and no diaper, just something that will protect their nether regions. Maybe I just have a pampered Western tush, but the though of it hanging out, uncovered, subject to wind and freezing temperatures...

Chinese New Year is fast approaching. As many of my colleagues are braving the crowds and holiday prices and traveling around Asia during this time, I am still trying to figure out what to do. I do not like crowds, or overpriced tickets, hotels, etc, and therefore try to avoid travel during peak season. However, I have been here for over a year, and not visited anywhere else in southeast Asia. And so as I watch the line for the train tickets grow insanely long, I wonder if there is anywhere that perhaps wont be too full, or too expensive, (or too COLD) that I can go and visit for the week. So far, I've come up empty handed.

The semester is drawing to a close. That means that this school year is almost half finished, and I need to start making some concrete plans about next year. Should I stay or should I go?

I had something else to write about, but now I cant remember. Oh well, next post...

I's married now. I said, I's married now...

To quote Shug Avery from The Color Purple, "I's married now!".

Yes, I took my happy self, as my people say, and went to Cameroon and got married. It was an interesting, exciting, unique, challenging, exhilarating and amazing experience. I am not even sure where to begin or what to say. I was "stingy with the details" leading up the wedding, and so most of you had an idea that I was getting married, but little else. So, here are the details.

On December 31, 2007 in Kumba, Cameroon, I became Mrs. B. We made our vows, in the sight of God and man, exchanged rings and sealed it with a kiss (or two). The entire town was there to celebrate, and sing, and my mum provided support and love for the blushing bride. It was wonderful! I will send out pictures via e-mail to all of you in a few weeks, so make sure that I have your e-mail address.

So, to answer the frequently asked questions...

1) Why the secrecy/rush?
There wasn't a rush, we've been planning this for months. The secrecy was because a) I didn't want people to feel bad about not being able to come, b) although we were planning for months, because of timing and visas and money, things didn't come together until the very end, and I didn't want to have to keep changing information or giving updates and, c) I am my mothers child (if you know my mum, you know what that means, if you don't, then don't worry about it).

2) Why did you get married in AFRICA?
Wanderlust baby! That and getting a fiance visa to the US quite complicated. Not a process I wanted to go through. Trust me, trying to co-ordinate a wedding when you live in China, your parents are in America, his parents are in Cameroon and you both have close family members in Europe is not easy. It would have taken years, and most of you know that I was NEVER a fan of long engagements. We considered all of the other possible options, destination weddings, waiting a year or two, etc. and this was the decision we made.

3) What is Cameroon like?
National Geographic. Beautiful. Seriously. You will have to see the pictures.

4) What was the wedding like? Did you have a traditional ceremony, a church wedding, what?
We had a civil ceremony at the council house. We wore traditional attire for the ceremony, and western attire for the reception. Although the ceremony was a civil ceremony, we said the traditional church vows (love, cherish, have, hold, rich, poor, sick, health till death us do part) and there was a scripture reading at the end. But there was no wedding march, altar, or anything like that. We signed the marriage certificate, and we were officially husband and wife.
Afterwards, there was lots of singing and jubilant calls from the women, which was great. Getting married is truly a community event, and a time for everyone to celebrate.

5) May I send a gift?
Thanks! Please be mindful that at some point, I will have to pack everything I own into two suitcases. I will be visiting the States this summer, and it might be easier for you to hold on to the gift(s) until then, or mail them to me at my mums address in FL (if you have it). It will also be easier, cheaper, and I won't have to worry about paying duty or potential customs issues. If you would still like to send a gift, e-mail me and I will send you my address.

6) Wait, weddings, gifts...I am WAY behind. How did he propose?
There wasn't a conventional "proposal", very indicative of his personality (and mine) and our relationship. This is what happened. He said to me one day, in a very serious voice. "L, I spoke to my father today". "Ok" I responded, expecting something grave. "I informed him of my intention to marry you. He agrees and thinks it is the right decision. So, I would like to get married in the next few months." There it was. I'm not a big one for surprises, so I am glad he didn't try. At the time, I just thought it was so funny, esp. because he was so serious that I thought he was going to tell me that someone was in the hospital and he had to go home! (I'm glad that the news wasn't grave.) I was laughing really hard though, and it took about 5 minutes for me to compose myself. He, however, was not laughing, and could not understand what I thought was so funny. So then I had to calm down and ask him if was asking me to marry him. He said, very nervously "What, you don't want to marry me?" At which point I decided to relieve him of his angst, and told him that I would love to marry him.

Although I would have loved for most of you to be there to celebrate with me, at the end of the day it is the marriage, and not the wedding, that is most important. I will be sure to send pictures, and diligently answer all of your questions. I know a few of you are a little upset with me, but that is ok, love heals all wounds. It was no easier for me than it was was you. Trust me. I would like to thank all of you that prayed for me, and celebrated with me across oceans and continents and multiple time zones. I would like to thank my siblings especially, my favorite uncle, my grandmothers, and closest friends, for their strength and perseverance, and for their presence in spirit. I would be lost without you.

And yes, we're gonna have a party when I come home, so get ready! Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Updates

I finally got a new USB and cleared my camera's memory stick. When going through the pictures, I realized how much I haven't posted on here that I should have. I guess I felt like no one ever read this blog, but in actuality, it's just that no one comments. (hint, hint). In the future, I will try to be a better blogger. Glad that you all read (in general, and this blog specifically)!

So, here are some updates. The Special Olympics were here in Shanghai, and the Caribbean Association treated the Jamaica and Barbados delegations to dinner after the close of the games. Here's a picture of the athletes:

Do you remember when the first Cold Stone Creamery came to Shanghai? I said that if they get a Chick Fil-A I was never coming back. Well, they don't have my favorite (and really, only) fast food joint, but we do have a CPK. Yup, California Pizza Kitchen. This is a chain that I discovered while living in the Midwest. Although I think most chains are gross, CPK is on to something with those pizzas. So, the other day I went to try it out, and was satisfied. It seems they import most of their ingredients, and the recipes must be adhered to, because the taste (of the BBQ Chicken pizza, at least) was the same. The only minor difference was that here the size of the chicken "chunks" was much smaller. No surprise there. Next time I want to try the spinach artichoke dip (my favorite) but being as I make a few adjustments (which is still a new thing in Shanghai, and sometimes causes problems) and the cost is more than that of a pizza, I'm going to hold off for a little while. Living here is like living in FL, MO, and NY all at once. Chick Fil-A must be coming...

I finally picked up my wedding dress. The first time I went, the wedding dress was not good, and their efforts to fix it were not up to par. The dress might have been cheap, but it didn't need to look it. In the end, the manager agreed to make a new dress. As a result, I made a few other changes to the design of the dress, so that it would be more flattering on my figure. These additional changes resulted in a 200 RMB price increase, which I agreed to pay only AFTER I picked up the dress (I had already paid the 600 up front, which I think they wanted mostly because there is no hope of resale if I didn't want it, the size being too big for most Chinese brides and the style not being in line with Chinese taste). Thankfully, I was not disappointed the second time, after they altered the dress so that it would, um, zip. I am pleased with the final result, and although it isn't exactly what I wanted, I think it looks nice. Total price: about 1100 RMB including transportation for myself (and L-squared) back and forth. That is about $150 USD, 110 Euros or 75 GBP. Not bad. I can't post the the picture until after, but here's a tease...




This is the store where I got the dress. The sign says something like Good Wedding Dress Store.








(Right) The inspiration dress. I really loved the neckline and sleeves of this dress. Photo found at http://www.sinceritybridal.com/eu_en/collection.php



















(Left) This is the prototype in the store of the shape of the dress. No, I do not have those flowers. Yes, my dress is this material and color. Both dresses have the "tucking" so I guess I like that too. The final dress is a merging of these two, with a few additional elements.

Wedding Dress

On Sunday, I went to Suzhou (a town not far from Shanghai), to the famous wedding dress street to find my wedding dress. I already had a picture that I wanted to make a few minor adjustments to, so thankfully my search was very directed. Wedding dress shopping, especially on a street full of shops dedicated tot hat purpose, can be information overload for a person like me. I am not a sport shopper - I do not have the patience, aptitude, finances, or disposition to go shopping just for the sake of shopping. I can spend my fair share of hours in the store (usually waiting for the fitting room), but I am almost always a goal oriented shopper. Get in, get what I want, get out. As quickly as possible.

Accompanying me was my TA, L-Squared. L-Squared is absolutely wonderful. Asside from regular work related things (Will you make 4 photocopies of this novel? I have new students and can't order more books on time. Thanks!), she also does a plethora of not exactly work related things (Can you buy some of that tea that makes you skinny for me please, five boxes? Can you tell this cab company that the driver ripped me off and go pick up the money he owes me? Thanks.Can you cancel your driving lesson this weekend even though you're taking the road test in two weeks and take me to the place in Suzhou where you buy wedding dresses? You're the greatest!), L-squared does it all.

So, L-squared and I met at 7:00 on Sunday morning (I was late) and got lots of exercise running, no sprinting, through subway terminals and the railway station so as not to miss our 7:40 train (like I said, I was late). We made it, right in the nick of time. About 35 minutes later, we arrive in Suzhou (which, by the way, is nothing like Shanghai) and took a taxi to the "Wedding Street" as she told the taxi driver. As it was minutes to 9 when we arrived at the street, the stores were just opening up. The first two stores reminded me why I think that most wedding dresses are ugly dresses. Honestly, if they weren't white and marketed as wedding dresses, very few women would wear most of these dresses ( I hope). I was gearing up for a long day, but then we saw a store with dresses that looked pretty good. This, our third store, was a gem. We looked around a little, inspected quality and style, and then asked if they make dresses, quickly. They said that was not a problem, I gave them my picture, and we discussed the dress.

I wanted a different fabric (the dress in the picture is made of satin, too hot). I tried on dresses of different fabrics to see how heavy they were. Finally we decided on a cotton silk blend, which I think will look nice. Then the color. Not bright white, but not the yellowed tinged one with the fabric I wanted that they had on display. No problem, she doesn't have any in stock, but she showed me a swatch of the color and said she would buy it. Do you want a small train? No. They were a little surprised, but I can skip the dress dragging on the ground. Especially because this will be my reception dress, which means meet-and-great, and dancing, too much potential for accidents. Floor length is fine. Oh, and I want this tucking to go down a little further. Ok. And a good supportive bra, not the one you give Chinese girls. Oh, it can come out. No, I say, I do not want to take it out, I want it to be good and supportive, because I need it, all day. No problem. We ironed out the details, I asked questions, they asked questions and we agreed. Now the most important part, the price.

And here is where L-squared blew my mind. I had told her beforehand how much I budgeted for the dress, my absolute limit. I told her that even if they quote a price that is under-budget, she has to bargain her butt off, because we both know that my foreign face equals price increase. And she did that to perfection. They quoted price that was less than half of my budget. And she argued. And bargained. And even got very creative. I can understand most of what she said, but in order to make things work better, I allowed her to translate anything beyond the most simple Chinese. That way they could go back and forth, and talk about foreigners, and the shop-keepers are not worried about me. Works better. And when bargaining for big-ticket items, it is no small affair. It takes serious verbal dexterity and creativeness.

Because the original price quoted was less than half of my budget, I would have taken it without argument. But not L-Squared. After she promised to bring back lots of business in the coming year, including herself (she is currently single), and talked about the foreign business I could bring (and then they could charge more), told them that I was getting married abroad, and that the dress better be the best quality because otherwise foreigners would have a bad impression of Chinese goods (which packs extra punch right now), said that the street was full of shops and although we didn't want to go somewhere else, we could...after all of that, when they were down to the last little 50 RMB(about 5 Euros, 3 GBP, 6.50 USD), she talked to me in English for a minute (more for dramatic effect than anything else, as she knows I understood most of it, but she also wanted to know what I was thinking at this point, being as I hadn't said a word). Then she told them, "Let me tell you something about foreigners. You know they like to give tips. So, even she (referring here to me) is thinking, what is the big deal about 50 RMB? But, if you charge her the 50 RMB, you don't get a tip. If you don't charge her the extra 50, then you get a tip, and if she is really happy with the dress when you are done, if you do a good, high quality job, she will give you at least 50 RMB, maybe more." Worked like a charm. they took my measurements, and I handed over 600 RMB for my wedding dress.

Yes, 600 RMB, you do the math. So, when I go back to pick it up I will take pictures and you all can let me know if you think I got a deal, a steal, or ripped-off. Until then, you'll just have to wait with baited breath. And if it is as good as I think it will be, then I think I have finally topped my mothers best bargain. Thanks L-Squared!

Post Script: Oh, and the picture above is not my dress, or even the shop where I got my dress. It was the only brown mannequin on the entire street, and so you know I had to take a picture!

Finally!

Here are some pictures of my apartment. Enjoy!

Here's the view from my balcony of the grounds.
(Actually, I have a good view of the city,
but it is a little overcast today, so you'll get those pics another time. )

The living and dinning room area.
Not huge, but nicely done.
Well, 'cept those white floors, they are driving me crazy.
I'm getting a maid, just to mop the floors twice a week!

The kitchen.

Like a galley kitchen, but larger than some I've seen in similar apartments.
The only problem is that hood is so low,
I used to hit my head on it.
My landlord and his wife are both short,
so it wasn't an issue for them, but it is too low for me.

The view of the apt. from the front door.

The guest bathroom.

There is a guest staying with us right now,
so you won't see the guest bedroom.

The study.

And the reason that everyone loves my apartment...
the TV!

Rent-A-Negro

I just discovered this website http://rent-a-negro.com

Here is an excerpt from the price quote page:

Pricing
	Event Rates • Corporate/Business Rate: $350 per hour • Personal/Private/Individual Rate: $200 per hour • Non-Profit Rate: $275 per hour • Drop-in/Appearances: $100 each • Informational/High Question Volume: add $100 per hour • Emergencies/Short Notice (24 hour window): add $150 per hour Ongoing/Retainer Services • $10,000 Annually (12 Events, 15 Calls, 10 Appearances, 3 Consultations) Additional Services • "Help! I need a Black Opinion!" $75 per call (30 minute duration) or email (24 hr response time) • Touch Her Hair: $25 each time • Touch Her Skin: $35 each touch • Compare Your Skin Tone to Hers: $50 • Tell her"you look just like..." another black person: $100 • Call her "sister" "sista" "girlfriend" or "girl": $150 each time • Dance Lessons for the Rhythm-Challenged: $250 hour • Challenging Racist Family Members: add $500 per person • Racist Guests at Event: add $500 per event (per racist) • "Will You Tell Them I'm Not a Racist?": $1500 per vouch • Certificate of Association: $100 A 8x10" certificate stating your affiliation with a black person.

I think I should start charging the Chinese people 100 RMB to touch my hair. I wonder if I could charge them to answer questions like "How do you get your hair like that?". Hm, maybe I'll give it a try!

Black is Beautiful

So the saying goes, and so too, does the headline of the most recent "City Weekend". Under that bold headline, the caption reads, "As Shanghai gears up for Beyonce's landmark concert City Weekend wonders what it's really like to be black in China." My oh my. "City Weekend" wonders what it's really like to be black in China. I was completely surprised. "City Weekend" is a magazine that is geared towards the "things to do" aspect of expat life - bars, restaurants, and events. Being black in China is not what I excepted to see on their cover. I opened the magazine, and read the following:

"It's not easy being black in China. For that matter, it's not easy anywhere in the world. Modernity seems inherently polarized against people of color, whether in the United States, Africa, or the streets of Sanlitun in Beijing, where people with black skin risk being hassled. At the risk of sounding like a bad Hallmark card, the four people we met in out Black in China story were pretty inspiring. They have a higher bar to cross that most expats and they do it. Everyday. With flair"

That's right. WE do it. Everyday. With flair.

Toil and Trouble

Double, double toil and trouble:
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
as taken from Macbeth

There is a wonderful lack of true toil and trouble in my life at the present moment, and for that I am intensely grateful. I am thinking about this because a few of my friends and acquaintances in Shanghai are currently experiencing double helpings of toil and trouble. The thing that separates me from them is something over which I have no control or influence. A little blue passport.

You see, in China, my little blue passport opens numerous doors. It even opens doors that my brown skin and curly hair would otherwise ensure were locked shut. That little blue passport makes it easier to get a job, change money, get a visa...all essential elements of living in Shanghai. As I witness the things that others without the blue passport (or a few other colors, European countries) experience, I am often saddened.

Although I would never encourage using fake documents, I now understand why people use them. I know people who have fake everything, the passport is fake, the birth certificate is fake, the visa was gotten through a connection (and a bribe), but they are here. And I also know people who try to do things legitimately and above board, and they get denied visas, denied residence permits, and sent home.

A friend of mine just married a man from a certain African country which shall remain nameless. Although his country does not have the best of reputations, he is an honest guy, who lived abroad and doesn't really know the "backway" to get things done. Theoretically, he should have gotten a Chinese residence permit thorough his wife. They followed all of the rules, provided the documentation, went to the Chinese embassy in his country, only to be told by her job, "sorry". The basic reason, wrong passport. If he was the citizen of a different country, it wouldn't have been a problem, but for him, it is a problem. And, to make matters worse, the school employee kept his passport, and waited until his visa had already expired to inform them that he could not get the residence permit. Overstaying your visa is a big deal in China, subject to large fines and/or imprisonment, and they enforce it. So, the next day he went to immigration to plead his case. They gave him a 7 daysextension and told him to "just go home". If only it was "just".

And yet, I know others who do all kinds of interesting things that boggle my mind and rarely run in to problems. (I will not go into detail here, not tryin' to blow up anyones spot.) I have seen passports that have different names, birth dates, sometimes even the country of citizenship. Yes, I have seen people who had never left Africa before coming to China and yet are the proud owners of European passports. I have listened to conversations where people are discussing which schools give everyone a visa (for a fee), which points of entry are lax (or can for enough cash), and which countries are the best for their particular situation. And as the technology gets better, it gets harder, but people adapt.

One of my friends got a "work" visa for a job that did not even exist, through one of his contacts. He needed to stay in China a little longer, but his visa was going to expire. So, he asked around, and found out how he could stay longer without a "legitimate" reason, according to the Chinese government. As it turned out, he was able to extend his stay, for over a year. Because he had the little blue passport (and a little cash) he didn't run into any problems getting the visa, residence permit, or leaving the country. Smooth sailing, aside,perhaps, from a little anxiety on his part.

Sometimes, I just wish things were different.

A nigger, coon, darkie, Jim Crow

A negro (pl. –es); a colored person; a blackamoor; a black man; a black; a nigger; a darky (darkie); a coon; a Jim Crow; colored people; the colored.

That is the definition, according to Sharp's electronic Korean-English dictionary, of "black person". As an educator, I am appalled. As a person, I am offended.

My students are doing oral reports on the Civil Rights Act of 1964, title VII. As such, numerous students asked me to look over the outlines that they had written, in order to ensure accuracy and good grades. As I looked over the outline of one of my students, I saw "As she was a woman and Nigger, these laws..." Whoa. I asked her where she learned this word, as she is not a native English speaker. "My dictionary", was her reply. So, I asked her to show me the dictionary, and what I read left me flabbergasted. I explained to my student that "nigger" is a bad word, inappropriate and offensive, as are "coon", "darkie", "blackamoor" and "Jim Crow". I explained to her what racial slurs are, and she looked up the word "nigger" in her dictionary. When she found the definition, she was shocked and embarrassed. I helped her to understand that I was not upset with her, as it was not her fault, but that I was not only taken aback, but shocked and appalled that her dictionary would contain such words as part of the standard definition for "black person".

The words "nigger", "coon" ,"darkie", "blackamoor" and "Jim Crow" are not part of the definition or translation of the words "black person". Appropriate terms would have included: "person or people of African descent", "person or people with dark skin" or, as some of the other dictionaries listed "Afro- or African-American" and "African". I think it is interesting that all of the dictionaries (so far) have limited to term to Africans and African Americans, as if there are not "black" people in other countries/continents. Some of them also used "colored" or "people of color" in their definitions. These at least I can understand. How did racial slurs become appropriate definitions/terms for a group of people, any people? Those are not even "slang" terms, they are offensive references and derogatory words.

Needless to say, a few people at Sharp will be getting letters from me.

The Typhoon is Coming, The Typhoon is Coming!

Important Announcement!

To All Faculty and Staff,
Classes are canceled tomorrow due to Wipha Typhon. We expect to resume classes on Thursday, September 20, 2007. Please remind students of the cancellation.
Thank You.
The Principal.

I received this note and looked out of my classroom window. It had been a dark, dreary day with heavy rainfall. I thought nothing of it, as we have had a few dark, dreary, rainy days in the past two weeks. My temperament was a little unbalanced, something I attributed the lack of sunlight and my secret desire to be at home enjoying the company of one recently returned significant other. I was so lethargic I found myself dreaming of Friday (it's Tuesday). My students looked equally as weary and melancholy as I felt, which is always a bad sign at the beginning of the week. I hoped it was just the rain that was affecting everyone. Oh, if today were Friday, I mused silently as I corrected my 10th graders' English papers, then I could go home, drink some chocolate, watch DVD's, and sleep until I wanted to wake up. I wouldn't even look at lesson planing, or grading, I would just relax. These were my thoughts. Well, those and why do some of my students think that one sentence = one paragraph and therefore 5 sentences = an essay? Only Tuesday and I need a break.
Is it wrong to thank God for a typhoon?

East China Braces for Fierce Typhoon

2 hours ago

SHANGHAI, China (AP) — China's commercial center of Shanghai was evacuating 200,000 people on Tuesday ahead of the expected arrival of Typhoon Wipha, potentially the most destructive storm to hit the city in a decade, local media reported.

Whipping up waves up to 36 feet high, Wipha was moving northwest across the sea north of Taiwan and was forecast to make landfall south of Shanghai early Wednesday, weather reports said.

"The typhoon is very likely to develop into the worst one in recent years. We are still observing it. It's hard to say at this moment," said a man who answered the phone at the city's meteorological bureau. As is common with Chinese officials, the man identified himself only by his surname, Fu.

At 9 a.m. (9 p.m. EDT) Tuesday, Wipha's center was located about 137 miles east of Taiwan's capital, Taipei, according to the Hong Kong Observatory's Web site.

Shanghai and the coastal provinces of Zhejiang and Fujian to the south issued typhoon warnings requiring all vessels to return to shore or change course to avoid the storm, the official Xinhua News Agency said.

State-run newspapers reported that some 200,000 people living in coastal or low-lying rural areas of Shanghai were being evacuated as a precaution, although the city was only experiencing intermittent showers early Tuesday.

A worker was killed and another seriously injured Tuesday when scaffolding collapsed at a highway construction site in Taipei, Taiwan's Disaster Relief Center reported.

Schools, offices and the stock market in northern Taiwan were ordered closed as a precaution and flights from Taiwan to Japan, South Korea and a few other Asian countries were canceled, officials said.

The storm was upgraded from a tropical storm on Monday afternoon. Wipha is a woman's name in Thai.

The deadliest storm to hit the China coast in recent years was Typhoon Winnie in 1997, which killed 236 people. Typhoon Rananim, with winds of more than 100 mph, was the strongest typhoon to hit the Chinese mainland since 1956, killing nearly 200 people.

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5ifGXZg6pmxDVB7QgtZHc1cqRzQew